1. When among other people, you can usually be seen:

Eating your own organs
Building something from something you just destroyed
Examining people's weak points, sharpening a knife
Spreading the word of how vegetarian geese saved lives in Africa
Looking for the nearest kettle
Stampeding around in a circle and reciting TV adverts


2. Someone accidentally bumps into you at work and the papers you were carrying fall through a hole in the floor into a toilet, you say:

"You ignorant orange-peeling son of a kebab flinger, I will have your head in silver batter!"
"Then, you attach slot B to tab A, and there you have a stylish bathroom cabinet!"
"Duude, it's not right to give toilets paper cuts, man .. ok?"
"CHOCOOOOOO!"
"You killed me! And ate me!!"
"BAH, YOU FOOL! YOU WILL FACE MY WRATH!! .. once I dry out those papers ... hope the boss won't be too angry ..."


3. You would be driven to commit suicide by:

Having nothing to aimlessly charge into
Not being killed and eaten
Running out of teabags
Being forced to go to church
Seeing a dove bludgeon a lion to death
Being put into a room without a toolbox


4. Someone accuses you of something you haven't done, the police soon arrive. You:

Eat your arm so they can't put handcuffs on you
Go along with it, then put vegetable oil in the police car's engine and laugh insanely
Build a huge wall between you and the police station
Open a gateway to Hell, destroy everything in a 20 mile radius
Roar loudly, destroy the police car, argue with a chocolate Santa
Offer them a cup of tea, put salt in instead of sugar


5. A time machine suddenly appears behind you. You would travel to:

Tomorrow, so you know just how amazing your creation will look when finished
10 seconds ago, so you can create an incredibly annoying cycle of answering this same question
An hour in the future, so you can come back and report on how many seagulls there will be left
65 Million BC, see your competitors in the giant lizard world get wiped out by a comet
15 Billion BC, so you can 'accidentally' put a giant tupperware container around the Big Bang
1998 AD, stop Farmer Palmer from eating your family


6. Your worst fault is:

Not being able to become aggressive
Your addiction to caffeine, teabags and cups
Being so damned evil, mwuhahahaaa
Being so tasty when butchered and put in sandwiches
Being an unstoppable pine tree-destroying monster
Having no ability to not demolish things


7. If you could come back after you died, you would haunt:


Safety Inspectors
The Tetley monkeys
Farmer Palmer
Ikea
Everything and everyone
George Foreman
ajofbgai